ER, Nephews, and Doing the Right Thing

On holding it all in

“But if I let it out,” explained sparrow, “I’m afraid I won’t be able to put it back in.”

“Some things,” replied mouse, “were never meant to be kept inside.”

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📷: Orbit in blues, neutrals, and orange

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When I was a kid, I tended to hold things in.

Pee was atop that list, but also emotions – especially the sad ones, the hard ones, the ones that came with tears.

I didn’t cry very often.

My mom tells the story of me in the ER with a broken arm. A doctor is poking my hand with a needle. “Can you feel that?” he asks. “Can you feel that?”

I’m scared and in pain and – yes – I can freakin’ feel that.

Yet there’s only a single tear.

I still don’t cry very often.

When Buddy, my cat, died. I sobbed.

When my 18-year-old high school nephew shared after the election, I sobbed.

He wrote, “When I cast my vote, I thought of more than just myself. I thought of my mom, my sisters, my grandma, my aunts and cousins. I thought of my friends, teammates, and strangers. My first year voting and tried to vote for what was right.”

I cried for this young man I love so much who stood up for the generations of women in his life – even the ones he does not know.

And I cried for so many who did not.

As the pundits sort through the post-election data, painting the picture of how fear of other, self-interest, and misinformation impacted how we voted, I hope they also tell the story of young men across the country who demonstrated what it really means to care about women.

That story will make me cry happy tears. I’m impossibly proud of my nephew. His courage + clarity gives me hope. If you have someone in your life you feel this way about, I encourage you to let them know.

Can you name an emotion you’re holding in right now? Naming what we feel is a first step toward accepting it, expressing it, and letting it flow through us.